By Payal Joshi.
Surrounded by this vast expanse of ocean, I’ve never felt more at peace.
Water is everywhere, as I sit there, feeling minuscule.
Fully aware of my pettiness, I sit there, bathing in the immenseness of this ocean.
I sit there, surrounded by water, but in reality, I am drowning.
Drowning in my thoughts.
In my unfathomable mind, I am submerged.
But all you see is the smile on my face. The smile that I have sculpted. The smile that stays, even if explosions happen.
And I am contended in the fact that you cannot catch a glimpse of my inner storm.
You are not strong enough honey, to see what I feel. I don’t want to watch you crumble beneath the weight of my insanity. Till the time comes, let me keep my reality shrouded.
But I can feel this pull.
This ocean is calling me. It is whispering sweet lullabies, it is caressing my skin.
You know what I hear?
A promise of release.
I didn’t know I craved it, until now.
How beautiful it will be, to succumb to these urges.
You will see what I feel, as I will slowly dissolve. As I will become one with ocean. As I will be gone, forever.
You will sit there, watching, as water will invade my lungs.
You will sit there, watching, as I will evaporate in this air.
You will sit there, unable to understand, why this happened, what happened.
But trust me honey, I will be smiling, when I reach the bottom, limp.
But in my mind one thing will resonate.
An apology. For you will be devastated.
I am sorry.