By Payal Joshi.

Surrounded by this vast expanse of ocean, I’ve never felt more at peace.

Water is everywhere, as I sit there, feeling minuscule.

Fully aware of my pettiness, I sit there, bathing in the immenseness of this ocean.

I sit there, surrounded by water, but in reality, I am drowning.

Drowning in my thoughts.

In my unfathomable mind, I am submerged.

But all you see is the smile on my face. The smile that I have sculpted. The smile that stays, even if explosions happen.

And I am contended in the fact that you cannot catch a glimpse of my inner storm.

You are not strong enough honey, to see what I feel. I don’t want to watch you crumble beneath the weight of my insanity. Till the time comes, let me keep my reality shrouded.

But I can feel this pull.

This ocean is calling me. It is whispering sweet lullabies, it is caressing my skin.

You know what I hear?

A promise of release.

I didn’t know I craved it, until now.

How beautiful it will be, to succumb to these urges.

You will see what I feel, as I will slowly dissolve. As I will become one with ocean. As I will be gone, forever.

You will sit there, watching, as water will invade my lungs.

You will sit there, watching, as I will evaporate in this air.

You will sit there, unable to understand, why this happened, what happened.

But trust me honey, I will be smiling, when I reach the bottom, limp.

But in my mind one thing will resonate.

An apology. For you will be devastated.

I am sorry.


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