Paradise

By Payal Joshi.

This place is beautiful. I can hear my heartbeat, my breathing, my thoughts out loud as I rest there on the sand.

I can feel everything. Crushed beneath my body and heated by the sun, this sand feels warm. It has wrapped me up in its ardent hold. Once in a while a high tide comes to greet me and embraces my feet into iciness. Its freshness makes me feel rejuvenated. These humid winds seem playful today. They slowly trace the curves of my skin, exploring every inch. My hair, enthralled comes to life. They dance to the tunes. they twist and sway. I feel everything.

I can hear everything. How the waves sing melodies while crashing to the shore. How they hiss angrily while colliding to the rocks. The wind rustles and whispers secrets to the birds. It tickles trees and they laugh and quiver. The birds have the mind of their own. Without a single care, they sing. They sing with all their hearts. They sing at the top of their lungs. I hear everything.

I can see everything. These contrasting colors surrounding me have made my eyes mesmerized. Even the sand looks beautiful sitting there naked. Different hues of blue are all visible in this ocean. This cloudless sky has no shame today in showing its miles of blue skin. The sun above has fixed his gaze on me. He stares, unblinking. These trees are standing there temptingly, spreading there arms wide to appeal to the sun. I see everything.

I can taste freshness.

I can breathe life.

A sigh escapes my lips as they utter, this place is beautiful.

This place is alive.

“Go find your paradise”

A Storm is coming

By Payal Joshi.

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.
Don’t mistake my silence,

As a sign of weakness,

All the evil is summing,

A storm is coming,

.
Can’t you see these flaming eyes,

I am screaming even with my mouth sewed tight,

Your burning fingers don’t leave a scar,

Fire inside me has a brighter spark,

.
All the evil is summing,

A storm is coming,

.
Can’t you see that I don’t cry in pain,

You don’t hurt me, something’s changed,

A tiny sapling of hope is grown,

No one is gonna save you from the coming cyclone,

.
All the evil is summing,

A Strom is coming,

.
So now run with all your might and strength,

Hide in the darkest corners if you can,

We’ll see if you are faster than me,

Or we can play the game of hide and seek,

.
If I catch you, you die,

Keep your eyes open all the time,

And beware if silence starts surrounding,

Cause, silence is the indicator of storm coming,

.
All the evil is summing,

A storm is coming.

Soothing Lies

– Payal Joshi.

Can you lie to me,

say I’ll be alright,

Can you hide the truth,

Its empowering benight,

Can you take me places,

Where sun kisses flowers lilac,

Can you show me faces,

Adorned with smiles maniac,

Can you heal my wounds,

Help my petty heart cope,

Can you caress my soul,

Give me glimpse of hope,

Can you help me forget,

Bitter words thrown at me,

Can you help me believe,

I am not what they tell me,

Can you do this for me,

Tell me, can you love me,

Even if you can’t,

Hide the truth, Lie to me,

Cause soothing lies will mend my heart.

Oblivion or Resurrection

                         – Payal Joshi.

Oblivion is inevitable,

They said,
When your bones turn to ashes,

And your blood evaporates,

When for the last time your heart thrashes,

And from your body, your soul separates,
When nothing is left of you in this cosmic world,

You will be forgotten, your name obscure,
They said it again and again,

You will vanish, turn into something oblivious,
And I remember,

Spending sleepless nights,

In fear of this inevitable phenomena,

Resurrection,

Was my only wish,
I wanted to prove them wrong,

I wanted to scream so loud,

That oblivion is just for those,

Who forget to leave a mark,
So I did it,

I left a mark,

I gave this world things to remember,

I gave it my piece, my part,
And indeed I proved them wrong,
I proved them wrong,

When I saw people standing near my grave and saying I will be remembered,
I proved them wrong,

When while resting in peace in the bowels of earth,

I heard people taking my name,

In poems, in songs, in thoughts,

Yes, I proved them wrong,

Because at that moment,

My oblivion turned into resurrection,
Yes, I will be remembered,

And now that thought allows me to rest stagnant, in peace, in my grave.

My Wonderland

By Payal Joshi.

A place often visited,

A place, only mine,

Clouds of despair,

Glimpses of sunshine,

Wandering in past,

Wondering of future,

Contemplating self,

Altering nature,

Abundance of self-love,

Destitute Self loathing,

Screaming flummox,

Lullabies soothing,

Love a desire,

Fear, companion,

Victory, aspiration,

Failure, oblivion,

A place, mesmerizing,

A place, obscure,

Needs, stringent,

Demands, impure,

A place often visited,

A place, only mine,

I call it my wonderland,

Here my life is,

Delineated, redefined.

Submerged

By Payal Joshi.

Surrounded by this vast expanse of ocean, I’ve never felt more at peace.

Water is everywhere, as I sit there, feeling minuscule.

Fully aware of my pettiness, I sit there, bathing in the immenseness of this ocean.

I sit there, surrounded by water, but in reality, I am drowning.

Drowning in my thoughts.

In my unfathomable mind, I am submerged.

But all you see is the smile on my face. The smile that I have sculpted. The smile that stays, even if explosions happen.

And I am contended in the fact that you cannot catch a glimpse of my inner storm.

You are not strong enough honey, to see what I feel. I don’t want to watch you crumble beneath the weight of my insanity. Till the time comes, let me keep my reality shrouded.

But I can feel this pull.

This ocean is calling me. It is whispering sweet lullabies, it is caressing my skin.

You know what I hear?

A promise of release.

I didn’t know I craved it, until now.

How beautiful it will be, to succumb to these urges.

You will see what I feel, as I will slowly dissolve. As I will become one with ocean. As I will be gone, forever.

You will sit there, watching, as water will invade my lungs.

You will sit there, watching, as I will evaporate in this air.

You will sit there, unable to understand, why this happened, what happened.

But trust me honey, I will be smiling, when I reach the bottom, limp.

But in my mind one thing will resonate.

An apology. For you will be devastated.

I am sorry.